Spencer Gives Heidi a Fake Ring

Apparently, when loser Spencer Pratt went to buy The Hills' Heidi Montag an engagement ring at a mall in Brentwood on the last episode, he bought a fake. The big pink diamond in the middle is really a fake. I never believed their whole relationship and engagement and think it's strictly a made for tv deal so he can try to pimp his so-called record management company and she can try to sell records.

Bachelor Engagement Called Off

One of the interesting things about blogging is that you can tell through services like Sitemeter how people come to find your blog. Months after The Bachelor ended, people are still searching for news about the show every day. I am sorry to have to update you all with the news that Andy Baldwin and Tessa Horst have called off their engagement. I didn't expect it to last - they didn't seem to have the right chemistry, mostly because he's pretty stiff and boring.

Criss Angel and Britney Spears?

Magician Criss Angel has been hooking up with Britney Spears lately. Britney is a washed up, out of control skank, but even so, Criss Angel has got to be thinking that she's out of his league.

Newport Harbor Starts Tonight

Don't forget that Newport Harbor debuts tonight after The Real World Sydney on MTV.

Don't Forget The Hills Starts Tonight

Reminder: The Hills Season 3 starts tonight.

Big Brother: Kail and Nick on the Block

Mike was voted out after making the dumbest move in Big Brother 8 history, trying to be nominated for eviction to prove he is true to his alliance with Kail. He proved his truthfulness all the way out to Julie Chen's couch outside the Big Brother house.

Daniele and Nick have taken their flirting to the next level. He has been all up in her grill about how much he likes her, and they finally made out, loudly I might add, last week.

Dustin, the new Head of Household, wants to target Jen, Kail, Zach and Nick. He seems to be getting gayer and gayer every day. He cries uncontrollably after receiving a letter from his brother in the HOH room -- weird. Amber is a total mess and cries nonstop. Everyone dislikes Zach and leaves the area whenever he is around.

Dustin nominates Jen and Kail, telling Kail she's a pawn and that he really wants Zach gone. Jameka wins the Golden Power of Veto, but the story of the competition is everyone getting mad at Dustin for taking a trip to Barbados and $5,000 in cash rather than winning POV. What idiots. He is the HOH. He shouldn't care that much about the POV to where he turns down a free trip and cash. Jameka claims that she will play for Jen because God wants her to, and she stays true to her (bizarre) word and takes Jen off the block. As Dick says, does she think God has nothing better to do than to worry about Jameka playing a game for some skanky chick.

Dustin puts Nick up, so Nick or Kail will be eliminated on Thursday.

Age of Love: Amanda Wins

I'm only half kidding with that post title. It's down to the final two. Age of Love's Mark Philippoussis has to chose between a 48 year old, Jen, and a 25 year old, Amanda. There is no question that he will pick Amanda. This is a cheese ball guy who has never dated anyone older than her early 20s. The only way he'll pick the cougar is if he thinks he has a bad reputation and that picking someone old enough to be his mother will somehow help improve his image. This has made the whole show tough to watch, knowing that he has no real interest in the older women but has to go through the motions of pretending to like them. Next Monday is the season finale.

Scott Baio is 45 and Single

The premise of Scott Baio is 45 and Single is that Chachi has cheated on all his girlfriends over the years and now wants to decide if settling down is right for him. This leads him to hire a life coach and to be celibate during the filming of the show. Judging by the fact that he wears cheesy gold chains and hasn't had a decent job on tv since Charles in Charge 30 years ago, it shouldn't be that hard for him to remain celibate, but we're all supposed to play along with the premise. He calls and visits his exes, including Joanie, who no longer loves Chachi, and Julie McCullough, who has not aged well since her days on Growing Pains.

Rock of Love: Degenerates

Rock of Love has to be the worst show in the history of reality tv. As I predicted, the show has taken reality tv to a new low. The women are unbelievable skanks who sit around drinking and cat fighting all day. I won't even comment on the elimination challenge, which let's just say involved phone sex and the measurement of Bret Michaels' response to the conversation. I can't watch this crap any more.

Hell's Kitchen: Bonnie Versus Rock

On Hell's Kitchen, chef Gordon Ramsey sent Julia home but promised to pay for her to go to culinary school, saying she can be a great chef but that she just doesn't have the fine dining experience necessary (she is a short order cook at Waffle House). Chef Ramsey introduced the remaining three, Bonnie, Rock and Jen, to his mother, then brought out the contestants' parents to judge the next contest. Jen won, earning lunch with her family and the Chef and a $1,000 gift certificate to a restaurant supply store. She is a bit of a mess, always crying at the drop of a hat. For the elimination food service, the three acted as chefs rather than cooks. Chef told the sous chefs to purposely make mistakes to see if the pretend chefs caught them. In the end, Jen was sent home, leaving Bonnie and Rock as the final two.

Pirate Master Axed; Cast Member Commits Suicide

CBS has put Pirate Master out of its misery, axing it before the season ended. If a show can't survive during the summer months when nothing but reruns are on, it has to be bad. For some reason, the producers convinced the cast to pretend that they were really pirates, so the contestants kept slipping in and out of talking relatively normally or talking like pretend pirates. Louie was the only one who kept up the charade consistently. Nothing beat the unintentional comedy of dreadlocked wacko Azmyth adopting a terrible British accent when he became Captain. Contestant Cheryl Kosewicz, the fourth pirate eliminated from the show, committed suicide, two months after her boyfriend killed himself.

Big Brother 8: Kail and Mike on the Block

Evil Dick has been stirring up trouble in the Big Brother house. He was on the block against Joe and survived by a vote of 9 to 1, with only Kail voting for him to be evicted. Joe hugged everyone as he left except for his former lover Dustin, who likes wearing a skin tight t-shirt with a very low cut v-neck that shows a lot of his cleavage. For some reason, the houseguests always try to dress up on Thursday nights -- is seeing Julie Chen that significant that they need to dress up for her?

Dick went from the chopping block to the Head of Household room, winning HOH after the elimination vote.

Nick is gay. He has a list of his top five guys he'd like to have sex with "if I was gay." He told Daniele that he doesn't have a list of top five girls because he replaced all five with her when he met her. I don't think he ever really had a girl list. No straight guy has a contingency list of guys he wants to be with just in case he switches teams.

Dick nominated Kail because she lied to him and voted for him to be eliminated and Jen because she put him on the block. Dick tells everyone in the house over and over, including Kail, that he wants Kail evicted. Jen won power of veto, and Dick put Mike up for eviction. Mike was the only one working with Kail against Dick during the POV competition. Eventually, Dick gave up and told Mike he was going on the block -- "Welcome to the block."

Daniele tells Dick he's irritating everyone in the house being so angry. They argue, and he offers to go to family counseling after the show is over.

Eric has two nipple piercings.

Victoria Beckham: Please Leave America

I can't imagine two people I care less about that Victoria Beckham a/k/a Posh Spice and David Beckham, who recently appeared in an NBC special, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America. David is gay and has way too many tattoos. Since he's moved to Los Angeles to play soccer, the tv networks are going to try to cram soccer down our throats even though people could care less about it, the way they do with the WNBA and other women's sports.

Posh likes to hang out by the pool in weird black outfits with her makeup artist and hair stylist -- they accompany her everywhere. She seems to go out of her way to be followed by the paparazzi, no doubt having her assistants tip off the paparazzi to her every move, yet on camera pretends to complain about them. I mean let's face it, this is Posh Spice -- you're not that big a deal.

She visited Perez Hilton and, in response to his question, denied that Tom Cruise is trying to convert them to Scientology. Yeah right. Tom Cruise isn't hanging out with you because he likes you -- there's no doubt a deal that they'll pretend to just be friends to make it seem more normal to the public and then, bam, they'll be forced to announce to the world that they've joined the cult and tell us all how great Scientology is. You heard it here first. The second the paparazzi starts getting a little thin around Posh's new house, she'll play the Scientology card to put herself back in the spotlight.

Posh went to a Beverly Hills ladies luncheon. The old ladies with way too much plastic surgery made Posh look like an intellectual. She was horribly awkward at the Dodgers game. She throws not like a girl but like a shot putter. She couldn't seriously have been trying to throw the ball.

Fat Guys Win on Top Chef

Top Chef sneaks up on you as one of the better shows on tv in a low key way. The highlight of last week's Quickfire Challenge was Hung running around like a mad man in the kitchen, as he is prone to do. Joey, the fat guy with hair, had some pastry experience and won the challenge, which involved pie crust.

For the elimination challenge, the contestants had to cook latin food for Telemundo tv "stars." Howie decided to use pork again, and Joey questioned Howie's overuse of pork dishes. The time allowed was cut in half at the last minute unexpectedly. The other fat guy, Howie, won. The judges expressed concern over Hung's attitude. In the end, Lia was told to "please pack your knives and go."

Next week's guest judge is Rocco DiSpirito, of The Restaurant infamy.

Big Brother Update

I'm way behind on Big Brother 8 updates, so here goes.

Dick suggests that Daniele has an eating disorder. That's obvious, but she probably doesn't need her dad pointing it out on national television. I predict that her eating disorder will come to fruition on the show and that the houseguests will try to intervene.

decides to keep the fact that she's a Joe and Dustin continue to debate the gonorrhea issue. Kail decides to keep the fact that she is a multibusiness owner a secret. Somehow, I have a feeling that none of her businesses are all that successful. Her terrible grammar should help keep her success a secret. She says, for example, that "three houseguests was not able to compete."

Jen has a massive meltdown over her stupid picture on the wall. She keeps crying that she's never taken a worse picture, and she covers it with paper. Dick is a huge name dropper. In a great sequence, they show clip after clip of him dropping names. Did you know he's been to dinner with Cher? Whoop tee doo. Mike, Kail, Zach and Nick form an alliance. In the first food competition, the girls do not want Dick touching them. Can't blame them. Kail nominates Carol and Amber out of what she calls a "spirit of fairness." Amber, a major whiner, doesn't think Kail should have put her up because they're both mothers. Amber has a major meltdown over her nomination. She needs to pull herself together more. It's only a tv show, honey. She's kind of a skank.

Evil Dick wears black nail polish. Jen tells people that Nick tried to kiss her. She wears great t-shirts with sayings like Jenuine, I'm a Jenius, Jenth Degree and I'm a Member of Jensa. Daniele wins the first power of veto but chooses not to use it.

They show Eric's family and friends. They are not happy that he's America's Player out of concern that this will throw off his game strategy. He loves the show and has always wanted to be on it. He's one of the few houseguests who is not an out of work actor or model trying to make a name for himself.

Carol is voted out, and Jen wins Head of Household. Jen was the only person to vote to evict Amber. Everyone in the house hates Jen, so they're not happy she's HOH. Zach, Mike and Dustin play a drinking game where they each take a drink every time Jen says the word "I." They do this in front of Jen, and she's too self-absorbed to catch on. In the HOH room, Jen has a minor meltdown that the pictures provided aren't better shots of her, putting the only picture with her mother in a drawer. You can tell she's pissed that they didn't fill the room with her cheesy modeling glamor shots.

Nick continues to flirt with Daniele. He gives her the key to his suitcase and calls it the key to his heart. Lame-o. Dick continues to attack Jen as much as he can. He doesn't hold much back with her, calling her an inconsiderate bitch and saying he'll make her the most miserable bitch in the house. Jen nominates Dick and Daniele, citing the "negative atmosphere" they bring to the house.

Daniele points out, rightly, that Jen is just jealous, or should I say Jenlous, that Nick wants Daniele over Jen. Mike and Zach are worried that Nick is too p-whipped by Daniele. Amber is a mess over the Power of Veto competition because she has to compete. Jameka tells her to pull herself together. Daniele once again wins POV and takes herself off the block. As part of the POV, Jen has to wear a skin tight unitard for a week, which she loves. Jen puts Joe up in Daniele's spot, so on Thursday, it's Evil Dick or Joe who will be evicted.

Big Brother Houseguests' MySpace Links

In the links section in the right sidebar, I've added links to some of the Big Brother 8 houseguests' MySpace pages. As you might guess, many of them are aspiring actors and/or models, despite what the show lists as their occupations. I guess reality shows hesitate to admit that nearly 100% of their cast members are out of work actors or models hoping for a little exposure. (Hat tip: BigBrotherFansUnite).

Melrose Place Update

People Magazine has a cover story on Melrose Placethis week. I looked for the story on People's website and couldn't find it. People is one of the those annoying magazines that doesn't give everything away for free, so I think you need to buy the magazine to read the article.

Top Chef Star Padma Lakshmi and Salman Rushdie are Divorcing

Padma Lakshmi, host of Bravo's "Top Chef," and recently knighted author Salman Rushdie are getting divorced.

I can't mention Salman Rushdie's name without thinking of Kramer in that Seinfeld episode.

The 60-year-old "Satanic Verses" author and the 36-year-old former model were married in 2004 in New York City. It was his fourth marriage.

"Salman Rushdie has agreed to divorce his wife, Padma Lakshmi, because of her desire to end their marriage," the couple's rep told Reuters. "He asks that the media respect his privacy at this difficult time."

News of the Rushdie-Lakshmi divorce comes just weeks after several momentous events for the couple. On June 16, Rushdie was awarded a knighthood by Queen Elizabeth, 18 years after the Ayatollah Khomeini proclaimed a fatwa on the author, leading to a breakdown in diplomatic relations between the United Kingdom and Iran. Just days earlier, Bravo premiered "Top Chef: Miami," Lakshmi's second season as host.

Rushdie's novels include the Booker Prize-winning "Midnight's Children," "The Satanic Verses," "The Ground Beneath Her Feet" and, most recently, "Shalimar the Clown."

In addition to her "Top Chef" gig, Lakshmi has written several bestselling cook books, including most recently Tangy, Tart, Hot and Sweet: A World of Recipes for Every Day, and appeared in the feature "Glitter."

Big Brother 8 First Episode

This summer's Big Brother 8 looks like it will be a good season. Julie Chen is the host once again. Coincidentally, she is married to the president of CBS.

The first episode began with 11 of the houseguests entering the house. Three houseguests were already in an upstairs room where they watched the other 11. The big twist this season is that three sets of guests know each other and have unresolved issues from the past.

Joe, the male receptionist from Chicago who happens to be gay, had a bad breakup with Dustin. Dustin is isolated in the upstairs room and tells America that Joe has gigantic nipples. Joe later reveals that he "immaculately conceived gonorrhea" from Dustin. Good times. These two are such drama queens they make Marcellas from Big Brothers 3 and 7 look macho. I see Joe and Dustin cat fighting for two or three weeks, after which if they are both still in the house they will make up and rekindle their relationship. You heard it here first.

Evil Dick is a 44 year old freak. His 20 year old daughter Daniele is in the house. Dick seems completely unconcerned that he is estranged from his daughter and actively roots against her in the Head of Household competition, cheering when she is eliminated. You would think that a father, even one who is not close to his daughter, would at least want her to win, or to come in second if he wins. Not Evil Dick. Hey, Dick, it's time to grow up, stop getting ugly tattoos, pull the earrings out of your ears and eyebrows and be nice to your daughter.

Carol and Jessica had a dispute over $5 years ago and have been enemies ever since. Their dislike for each other seems a little fake.

Eric is "America's Player," meaning that the viewers secretly control what he does in the house.

Kail won the HOH competiton.

Survivor Convention Planned

Survivor: Fiji's Yau-Man Chan says that CBS is organizing a Survivor convention for die-hard fans of the show. It's geeky, but at least Survivor is a current show on tv. Trekkies dress up in their Spock outfits and go to Star Trek conventions when that show hasn't been on the air for who knows how many years.

Introducing the Cast of Big Brother 8

Joey Chestnut Defeats Takeru Kobayashi

This year's July 4th hot dog eating contest was excellent. There was a lot of drama surrounding defending six time world champion Takeru Kobayashi's jaw injury. The American underdog challenger Joey Chestnut ate a world record 66 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes to win the championship. Kobayashi ate 63 but had a "reversal of fortune" (i.e., he threw up) in the closing seconds which can lead to a disqualification or reduction in score. It really was fun to watch. The pregame was interesting. The best part was the introductions of all the competitors, which included champions in contests involving Spam, meat on the bone, oysters, pigs feet and other weird foods.

Pictures of the New Big Brother 8 House

Source: TV Grapevine.

Kobayashi to Defend Hot Dog Eating Crown

Today, six time world champion Takeru Kobayashi will defend his hot dog eating crown against up and coming star and world record holder Joey Chestnut. The Japan versus America story line here rivals that of the 1980 Miracle on Ice gold medal hockey game between the U.S. and the Soviet Union, or Rocky versus Drago in Rocky IV.

The eyes of the world have been on Kobayashi's jaw in recent days. It's like Tiger Woods tearing his rotator cuff, or LeBron James blowing out his knee. Kobayashi received a chilling diagnosis: Jaw pain that limits how far he can open his mouth. The disclosure set stomachs rumbling throughout the dog-eat-dog world of competitive eating in the days before the annual Independence Day chowdown.

Kobayashi dismissed speculation that his jaw ailment could be a ploy against his main rival at the Nathan's hot dog eating championship. "That's not even funny," the 29-year-old Japanese eating machine said. "I don't even have time to think about that." After his disclosure this week that he has a creaky jaw and he is getting treatment, some, including ESPN host Tony Kornheiser, suggested that Kobayashi was trying to lull American Joey Chestnut into complacency.

Happy Fourth of July!

Steve-O to "De-Wussify" Guys

Steve-O, one of the stars of Jackass and Wildboyz, will have his own reality show that airs after WWE's Monday Night Raw. The gross-out daredevil will travel around the country to "de-wussify" wimpy guys by making them perform his trademark breed of crazy stunts.

Chris Benoit's Doctor Charged with Distributing Illegal Drugs

Chris Benoit, the pro wrestler who strangled his wife and son and committed suicide last month, bought injectable steroids excessively, according to court papers released Monday. His doctor. Dr. Phil Astin, was charged with improperly prescribing drugs to other patients. Astin prescribed a 10-month supply of anabolic steroids to Benoit every three to four weeks between May 2006 and May 2007, a Drug Enforcement Administration agent said in an affidavit filed Friday and made public Monday. During a probe of "RX Weight Loss," Benoit was identified as an excessive buyer of injectable steroids, the document states. Prosecutors would not say what "RX Weight Loss" is.

Bottom Stories of the Day

1. Spice Girls Announce 11-Show Reunion Tour.
2. Spice Girls Confirm TV Documentary.
3. Oprah Winfrey: From Media Mogul to Store Owner.
   

Gene Simmons: Send Business Proposals, Not Ideas

Gene Simmons is sick of people sending him ideas. Instead, all he wants are business proposals. He says on his website (scroll down):

Please, everyone stop sending "Business Ideas." Unless and if you can implement (make it happen -- which means you have to have money, distribution and other aspects covered), no one will give you the time of day. Neither will I. Stop sending ideas. Only send "Business Proposals." If you don't know what that means, don't send anything.

Chris Benoit Wikipedia Entry Edited Hours Before Bodies Found

A Wikipedia user has admitted to editing Chris Benoit's entry to mention the death of his wife, Nancy Benoit, 14 hours before police found the bodies of Benoit and his wife and son. The user's IP address was traced to Stamford, Connecticut, home of the WWE's headquarters. Tragically, Benoit strangled his wife and suffocated his son, placing Bibles near their bodies, before hanging himself on his weight machine. Authorities have since raided Dr. Phil Astin's office seeking evidence related to steroid use by Benoit.