I'm Back

Sorry for the infrequent posting lately - been on vacation. Look for more content now that I'm back.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Engaged

The Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are engaged. I'm sure Lauren Conrad is so happy for them. What are the odds of them actually getting married? Not very high, in my opinion.

Jordin Sparks is the American Idol

17 year old Jordin Sparks won American Idol, beating Blake Lewis in the finale.

The Bachelor Proposes to Tessa Horst

On The Bachelor, Navy Lieutenant Andy Baldwin chose Tessa Horst over Bevin Powers.

Trump Says "I Quit" Rather Than Be Told "You're Fired"

Donald Trump, whose low-rated reality show "The Apprentice" was left off the new prime-time schedule unveiled this week by NBC, says the network can't fire him -- he quits.

The real estate mogul issued a statement on Friday saying he has informed the U.S. television network he is "moving on from 'The Apprentice' to a major new TV venture," though he declined to elaborate.

Athletes Seek to Cash In On Reality TV

Dancing with the Stars has begun a trend of athletes and former athletes seeking exposure on reality tv shows.

The Next Internet Millionaire

The Next Internet Millionaire is an online reality show. The winner receives $25,000 and the opportunity to enter into a joint venture with Joel Comm. (Hat tip: John Chow).

Jaslene Named America's Next Top Model

Jaslene Gonzalez was named America's Next Top Model, beating out Renee Alway and Natasha Galkina.

New Summer Reality TV Show: Age of Love

NBC will air a ripoff of the The Bachelor this summer. It's called Age of Love and features tennis player Mark Philippoussis as The Bachelor. The twist that gives rise to the show's title is that half the women are in their 20s and half are in their 40s.

Amber's Principal Wants Her Job Back

The Bachelor contestant Amber Alchalabi's principal was demoted for allowing Amber to appear on the show, resigned rather than be demoted, and now wants her old job back.

Ian Ziering Off Dancing With The Stars

Steve Sanders Ian Ziering has been eliminated from Dancing with the Stars.

Who Will Andy Baldwin Pick?

The Bachelor Finalists: Bevin and Tessa

On The Bachelor, Navy Lieutenant Andy Baldwin brought the three remaining contestants -- Bevin, Danielle and Tessa - to Hawaii for the overnight dates. All three accepted his invitation to the fantasy suite. The previews showed Tessa pretending to be reluctant, but the way they edited the show itself, she readily agreed to it. Andy had a friend fly in to help him make his decision. In the end, he narrowed his choice to two: Bevin and Tessa. Danielle did not receive a rose. Next week, they are not having a reunion show, typically entitled The Bachelor, The Women Tell All special episode and featuring a surprise appearance by The Bachelor -- the season finale airs next week. I guess they had to fit in all the episodes before Memorial Day. I'm going with Tessa all the way to win the final rose.

Bachelor Final Three: Bevin, Danielle and Tessa

At the beginning of this week's episode, The Bachelor Andy Baldwin has narrowed down his choices to four: Amber Alchalabi, Bevin Powers, Danielle Imwalle and Tessa Horst. It's time for the hometown dates. One dorky bachelor, four nutcase women, what could go wrong?

Bevin is up first. We know that Bevin is keeping a secret from Andy - she is divorced. She kept the secret surprisingly long on the show. The producers like to cast a virgin and a divorcee, and typically, the women wait all of thirty seconds at the first night's cocktail party to make their status known. This season, both Bevin and the suspected virgin kept their identities secret much longer than usual.

Bevin meets Andy at a scenic waterfall near Seattle. In all four hometown dates, Andy squeals like a pig when he first sees the women. He is Mr. Monotone 24/7 except when he first sees a woman, when he instantly squeals with delight in a very feminine way. Andy asks Bevin if she's taken other boys to the waterfall, and she lies to his face, denying it. Bevin tells Andy about the divorce, and his poker face isn't very good -- you can see he doesn't like this news. Bevin's family seems relieved that Andy is a lot more normal than the loser guys Bevin has brought home before. Her dad is emotional and cries a little too much.

Next up is Danielle in Connecticut. We learn for the 10,000th time that Danielle had a college boyfriend years ago who died while they were in bed together. No explanation is provided for exactly what they were doing at the time. Other than being way too hung up on the ex-boyfriend's death, Danielle seems pretty normal. She still lives at home, presumably to help her grieving process over the dead boyfriend. Andy always says that Danielle is the most invested in him. I'm not sure what that means, but I know I don't like it, but at the same time it doesn't seem true because she doesn't seem that invested in Andy, at least not compared to desperados like Bevin. Danielle's dad lets us know that he's the provider and protector, then he plays the drums in the basement, followed by the mom and sister belly dancing with Andy. Perhaps Andy enjoyed the belly dancing a little too much because Danielle warned him to "stay away from my sister." At least he was hitting on the sister and not her mom.

Next up is Tessa in Washington D.C. The date began with Andy's usual squealing followed by a snowball fight that looked a little forced. I can almost see the producers behind the camera telling them to do that. Each season, one of the families plays the role of interrogators to The Bachelor, and Tessa's family and friends followed that script this season. Samantha, Tessa's friend from Denver, seemed determined to break the two up with her obnoxious questioning. Great friend she is. Washing dishes with the dad, Andy awkwardly asks if Tessa has brought many other guys home to meet the family. Smooth line.

Next up is the highlight of the show -- Andy's visit to Sugar Land, Texas to see Amber. We know from the previews that her family situation is unstable. Her parents apparently are not in the picture, so she begs an aunt to meet Andy. The aunt says no, so Andy has an awkward dinner in the Tri Delt house with Amber, her dumb roommate and the dog that goes number one on the carpet. Eventually, the aunt shows up unannounced and relieves the tension somewhat.

At the rose ceremony, Andy rejected Amber. She cried pretty hard, and he blamed it on their age difference. She reminded him that he told her in the hot tub that her age didn't matter, but I think we all know he would say anything in the hot tub to try to get some action.

Next week, the three women visit him in Hawaii. The previews show Tessa pretending to have to think about his invitation to the fantasy suite. That is something else that happens every season. They all go to the fantasy suite, but one of them pretends to be unsure about it. I think Tessa will accept the invitation, if you know what I mean. No question that Bevin will be all over the fantasy suite.

Beverly Hills 90210 Update

There's been lots of action from the Beverly Hills 90210 gang lately. First, Pepsi airs a commercial mocking the gang. Then, the Oxygen network -- I'm not sure what that is -- renewed Donna Martin Tori Spelling's reality show called Tori and Dean: Inn Love. Third, Dylan McKay, a/k/a Luke Perry, isn't aging so well. And last, the gang had a reunion at the Peach Pit After Dark set of Dancing With The Stars, where Steve Sanders Ian Ziering is lighting up the dance floor with his twinkle toes.

Bachelor Principal Quits

Amber Alchalabi's school principal has quit rather than be demoted as a result of allowing Amber to be on The Bachelor: An Officer and a Gentleman while school was in session. Tammie Carpenter submitted her resignation rather than be reassigned and demoted.

Rob and Amber to Revolutionize Reality TV

Survivor and Amazing Race contestants Rob Mariano and Amber Brkich promise to revolutionize reality TV with the most spectacular reality TV series of all time. I am not making this up. First prize is over $10 million.

More Reality TV on TV

Reality TV programming is only going to increase its presence on television. TV stars with massive egos and salaries? Overpaid writers who threaten to go on strike if they're not paid even more? Those economics don't compare to finding some unknown idiots willing to go on tv for almost nothing and make fools of themselves. Story here.

Principal Demoted for Allowing Amber on The Bachelor

A Sugar Land, Texas principal, Tammie Carpenter of Colony Bend Elementary School, has been demoted and reassigned for giving fourth grade teacher Amber Alchalabi time off to compete on The Bachelor. Amber's fate is unclear.

From the preview for next week's episode, it appears that Amber has family issues in addition to problems at work. It showed Amber on her hometown date with Andy Baldwin. The idea of the hometown dates is, obviously, for The Bachelor to meet the girls' parents, but the preview shows Amber reacting to what we assume is her mother telling her she won't see her on the hometown date.

Bachelor 3 Andrew Firestone Proposes to Model

Bachelor 3 Andrew Firestone has proposed to actress/model Ivana Bozilovic. She has been given the Firestone girlfriend employment opportunity at the Firestone winery, the same role he gave Jen Shefft after proposing to her at the end of his season on The Bachelor.